My alternate father
by Skyler Luke
Summary: When Heinz is somehow is like a five year old Brooke turns him into five year old. To him his father is someone you won't think would be a father to him. * May Not Finish *
1. Chapter 1

_**First: I should upload new chapters of other stories, I know that okay! Second: Okay so I was only going to upload this on dA but I really want to post this on here too! Don't ask about the title… If you have any other suggestions for the title please give me one. It's just the only title I can come up with. (:**_

_**I don't own Phineas and Ferb, Doofenshmirtz, Alternate Doofenshmirtz, ED who will come in later, Or even the lady that also lives here (My mom… Heinz doesn't know who she is). PaF, Doof and Alter Doof belong to Dan and Swampy. ED to TheGrimGirlReaper on dA. My mom to her mom :3**_

* * *

><p>I was lying in my bed listening to Alter Doof talk, I felt someone sit down on my bed, I opened my eye that wasn't being covered by my blanket (or my left eye) and saw Heinz, I opened both my eyes and sat up. Alter Doof asked Heinz why he was in there. I noticed how Heinz was a little different, I said in a whisper-like, "I think he's mentally regressed…". Alter Doof looked at me and asked "What?". I said, "I think he's mentally regressed…". I got out of my bed (After climbing over my dogs, blankets and pillows) and grabbed a remote out of my drawer. I pressed a button on the side and then pressed the red button. Up on the screen (my TV, The remote works with the TV) said a bunch of words I did not understand what it meant together, Alter Doof was mumbling what it said and then said "You're right Brooke". I said "See! Now since I don't allow things like this to happen", I typed in an asterisk, a number and pressed the red button again. Heinz started shrinking and was now four years old. I got back in bed and lied down in a weird position that was weirdly comfortable for me.<p>

Heinz came over to Alter Doof and me and lied down next to Alter Doof. I smiled thinking of many thoughts I found cute. I asked Alter Doof, "Can you tell the actual story of what happened the day of the movie?". Alter Doof said "Sure…". I said before he started "But the full version, not the fast one you made up just to get it over with". Alter Doof said "Fine". He started telling it and I smiled, I closed my eyes and held onto my Perry plush. I fell asleep by the time he got to the Fight scene (I take forever to fall asleep).

* * *

><p>I had woke up for about a couple minutes at probably like two o'clock. I saw two teal furred Platypi lying next to me, I thought before I went back to sleep "Is that Platyborg and Perry?".<p>

I woke up at six o'clock again, I saw that Platyborg and Perry weren't there now. I tried to fall asleep again but couldn't. By the time it was six thirty Heinz was up, He saw I was awake. I said "Sorry if I woke you up…". He said "its okay, you didn't wake me up". He sat up and asked "Brooke…?". I said "Yeah?".

"How are your eyes Brown if Daddy's eyes are blue?".

"Because… My mom's side of here family has brown eyes so I got Brown eyes".

"Oh…".

He thought of many questions and I answered every single one of them until he asked, "How come in Daddy's story he said my name?". I stammered "Uh… Well… Uh… You see… Well… I can't answer that". He asked "Why not?". I said "Because it's kind of hard to explain… Ask Daddy". I looked at my window and saw it was past seven (The light on the wall), I said "Come on". I got out of bed and Heinz got out too, I took him upstairs and took him to the room that Me, Sharp and Alter Doof would hang out in when bored. I saw Alter Doof watching TV as Sharp was on her computer, I said "What you guys decided to hang before I got up?". Sharp said "Hey Brooke. Look at this". She showed me a video on youtube, I shook with disgust, and I said "Sharp, Why are you looking at this?". She said "Looked Interesting". I said "Can I see something?". She said "Sure". She got up and I sat down, I typed in something and showed Sharp, She said "EWWWW… Why are you watching this?". I said "Looked Interesting". Sharp rolled her eyes, I then went to listen to my favorite PaF song. I started singing it, Sharp joined in "I've got a brand new best friend and its me!". Alter Doof looked and said "You know during the Bike scene I'm yelling at him to just stay still! It's hard to try and steer and pedal a bike when some dumb guy starts acting stupid!". I laughed and said "What's up with the dance scene". Alter Doof said "His idea, not mine… Since he's the one dressed up as a girl…". I shook and said "That was weird… I'd be perfectly fine with you guys dancing but he was dressed up as a woman! Like what the busmen?". Heinz sat down on the couch and asked Alter Doof a question as I surfed dA, Sharp looked with me.

We heard Alter Doof stammering, Sharp asked what the question was and then answered Heinz's question as I played on my computer until my stomach started to growl. I got up and went downstairs to the kitchen, I grabbed some muffins, pancakes and bacon my dad made up Monday. I heated up the pancake and bacon and put some of the blueberries my mom bought on the plates that where out already, the microwave beeped and I put two pancakes each on the plates, I put the bacon on a big plate. I put a muffin on my plate. I hit a button on the wall Alter Doof installed, I set the table and put the food on the table. Sharp and the boys came down and sat down at the table, I said "Break feast is served you lazy bums", I grabbed my plate and went upstairs eating bacon.

I went back into the den like room, Sharp called it the no parents allowed room, and I called it the Awesome Den. You had to be awesome to come in, And new people have to spell the password out, Doofenshmirtz is the awesomest person ever. That's what you had to do, you really only had to say "T-H-E-P-A-S-S-W-O-R-D".

I saw Heinz playing on paint on my computer, I set my food down and grabbed my muffin. I handed the muffin to Heinz and asked "What'cha doing?". He said "Drawing a picture on here". I smiled looked at the picture. It was of A-Doof, Me, Sharp, A-Brooke, Perry and Platyborg. I sat down on the couch and watched TV. I heard laughing from A-Brooke's room. I got up and went to her room, I saw her playing with a younger Platyborg and Perry. I smiled and grabbed my iPhone and took a picture. I said "What'cha doing A-Brookie?". She said "Playing with Perry and Platyborg". I said "Ahhh.. Well I made up breakfast… So yeah". She said "M'kay". I went back to the Den, Heinz moved from my computer to the couch. I sat down next to him and watched Disney channel with him. I got bored of what was on, I grabbed my iPhone and went on dA.

I replied to my friend, read all the journals, looked at the pictures and read all the stories. I checked my mail and got kinda sad since there were no updates. I sat back and started listening to music with my wireless ear buds. I got so lost in my music I didn't know it was 10 o'clock. I heard someone throwing a tantrum, I came back to real life and took my ear buds out. I turned off my music and saw Heinz throwing a tantrum. Alter Doof was about to freak out, I asked Alter Doof what was going on, "He wants to watch one of those scary movies we have". I said "Ahhh…". I got up and said "Hey I am going to have some chocolate milk and some candy… If anyone wants to have one too they can come with me…". Heinz stopped and said "Huh?". I said "I'm going to have some chocolate milk and candy…". Heinz asked "Can I have some too?". I said "Sure". He left the room, I said, "And that's how I handle it my way…". I went with Heinz to the kitchen, I said "Can you get me two glasses out of the sink?".

He nodded and grabbed two glasses, I got the milk and chocolate syrup. I put them on the counter and grabbed a spoon and two straws, I poured little less than half the cup up with milk, then filled it up with chocolate syrup. I stirred that up and asked Heinz "You want one like this?". I showed him and he nodded, I said "Okay". I did the same but poured a little more milk and little less chocolate syrup. I poured a little more milk in on the top after stirring. I put straws in the drinks and handed Heinz the one I did last. I grabbed my crunch bar and broke it in half, I went to the living room and Heinz followed me. I put my drink down and turned TV on, I sat down and started eating my half. Heinz drank his chocolate milk, I turned the channel to Disney channel and watched Phineas and Ferb. I fell asleep watching it though… Therefore, I don't know what happened until Sharp rudely woke me up.

_Sharp's P.O.V_

I was in my room listening to music singing to it, I heard my door open and I jumped down into my chair and turned off the music. I saw Heinz come in, I said "Oh it's you. Why are you in here?". Heinz said "My daddy said that since Brookie asleep you have to watch me, Perry and Platyborg when He, your dad, A-Brooke and The brown haired lady that lives here too are gone". I said "Oh…". I thought "Great… Just great". I asked him "Where's Perry and Platyborg?". He answered "In A-Brooke's room taking a nap". I noticed his voice was really soft with a hint of being scared. I got up and sat on my bed that was against the wall next to my door, "What's wrong?". He said "Nothing…". I saw that he was looking at my walls, I looked at my own walls and got exactly why he was a bit scared. I had many posters on my walls of scary things, Vampires, Werewolfs and other things that would most likely scare a child, Heck it would scare Brooke! I said "I understand what's wrong… Come here".

He came over to me and got on my bed. I said hugging him, "its okay Heinz. None of this can hurt you… It's all fake". He asked "Promise?". I nodded and said "I promise". He asked "Pinky promise?". I said "Pinkies lie, See". I acted as if my pinky could talk and gave it an Italian male voice "I am a 36 year old male". I said in my normal voice "How if you're on a 12 year old girl's hand?". I said in the Pinkies voice "Because!". I put my hand down and said "See, They lie. They couldn't be used in a promise". Heinz asked "Then how can I be sure?". I said "Hmm… I know… I swear that nothing will hurt you and if I can't keep that promise may God put bad luck on me forever". Heinz said "Really?". I nodded, "Really. Now come with me. Brookie can't stay asleep all day!". I took him down stairs and grabbed Brooke's iPhone. I used the air horn app, put it to Brooke's ear, and turned it on. Brooke jumped and hit me, "Sharp! I was asleep! Having a very good dream!". I teased sitting on the back of the chair "Was it about you running away with Doof?". She said pushing me off the couch "No! It was about me and Oliver falling in love". I said "Oh holle no! Oliver is mine!". Brooke said "I know… It was really about me waking up in the middle of the movie, A-Doof's version".

I said "Two more days, 6 hours and…" I checked my watch and finished "36 minutes, 42 seconds". She looked at me as if I was crazy, I showed her my watch and said "See it counts down the exact times to something". She said "Oh… Okay". I plopped down on the couch ignoring the creaking sound. I turned the TV to a channel and a horror movie came on. Brooke grabbed the remote and changed the channel quickly, she said "No Sharp! We're not watching a scary movie!". I said taking the remote back "What you scared?". She said "No!".

"Yeah you are".

"No I'm not!".

"Uh yeah you are".

"Uh No I'm not!".

"Yeah you are".

"No I'm not".

"Whatever… I'm watching the movie and you can't stop me".

I turned back to the movie, I started watching it as Brooke was steaming mad. I smiled as I grabbed the other piece of the chocolate that Brooke must of broke up earlier, she got up to have lunch.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Verrryyy long chapter! I originally had a question from Heinz that Sharp answers but I thought that the question shouldn't be in here. For Platyborg and Perry lovers (Or for ones that wonder where they are…) They're coming in the next chapter. Please Review<strong>_


	2. Chapter 2

_**I no own anything (I like saying I no because it sounds awesome) but MY oc's**_

"_There's an app for that"__**© Apple**_

_**PaF © Dan, Swampy and Disney**_

_**ED who still will appear soon © TheGrimGirlReaper**_

_**Idea, My OC's and the house design © Moi**_

_**My P.O.V starting out then goes to Sharp's**_

I came back with the huge sandwich my dad bought me, I opened it up and took off the bread, I saw that the main character, who was a girl, fell down, and I said "Really?" Sharp said "Say that again in a Doofenshmirtz's voice". I asked "Why?". Sharp said "Just say Really? In a Doofenshmirtz voice". I sighed and said in a Doofenshmirtz voice "Really?". Sharp laughed and said "Act like Alter Doof when the Machine didn't work!". I sighed and stood up and said "Really? That's it?". Sharp stood up as there was a commercial on and we acted out the scene how Alter Doof told us it went, Sharp was Heinz and I was Alter Doof.

"Now to present the Other-Dimension-Inator!… Actually it's the _Other _Other Dimension-Inator" Sharp said, "The other-dimension-inator is back in my dimension".

"Just get on with it!" I said being inpatient.

"Fine", Sharp acted as if she turned on something, and then like nothing happened "Awwww…".

"Really? That's all?".

"Now that I think about it… Whatever those boys did must have made it work…".

"Oh great, Now I need those boys too? Ughhh…" I walked away and then came back and sat down, I sat down as the movie came back on.

_Halfway into the movie_

I decided to watch the movie as Netflix on my phone wasn't working. I heard someone let out a whimper, I turned around and saw Platyborg, Heinz and Perry in my mom's chair and Heinz and Perry looked scared. I said "Oh Sheißle!". I got up and sat down on the ottoman next to the chair, I said "What is wrong guys?". Heinz said "The movie…". Perry finished for him "Is scary…". I said "Awww guys, It's all fake, See that guy right there? He's wearing a costume. And that Ax, it's plastic and that's probably ketchup or paint it it. That girl you see, All that blood on her face is either makeup or something red to make it look real but its fake. See,". I looked up the movie on Imdb, I showed them that all the people were actors. Heinz pointed out something "But that name's the same…". I said "That's could be because they named the character after the actor. Look at Ant farm, Hannah Montana, Ummm… Big time rush, The characters and actors have same first names at least. They do that sometimes. Sometimes they name the characters after their kids, family and so on. I mean Cirque du freak the boys name is Darren and the Creators name is Darren. They do that a lot". Heinz asked "So none of this is real?". I nodded, "The only real thing is maybe the places like New York and California". He said "Oh…".

I looked over at Platyborg and asked "Is this freaking you out at all?". He shook his head and said "Nope, Not at all". I said "Oh, Okay" I watched the movie and near five mintues into watching it again I said, "This seems like Halloween and Paranormal activity were mixed up together…". I looked back at my phone and saw that title, "Paranormal Halloween". I said "That is why… Nice…".

I heard the front door open and I saw A-Doof come in, Heinz ran up to him and said "Daddy! I'm scared!". A-Doof looked at what was on TV and said "Of course…". He picked Heinz up and took his phone out with his other hand. He used his remote app and turned the channel with his phone. He said like I would say about an app "There's an app for that!". Sharp yelled "DOOFUS! Why did you do that?". A-Doof looked at her and said "Really Sharp? Really? There are two four year olds and a five year old and Brooke in the room during a horror movie. What do yah think I did it for?" Sharp said, "'cause you hate me…" A-Doof said "Sharp Shay Doofenshmirtz, What is wrong with your brain? I turned it off because they shouldn't be seeing that movie!" Sharp looked at him, I said, "Well, Not change the topic so fast but… Who wants some milkshakes?". A-Doof looked at me and asked "Didn't you have chocolate milk before I left?". I said "So? I like milkshakes!". A-Doof said "Nice Brooke", I said "Bumsen you…". I got up to make milkshakes for myself.

I got an orange straw and put it in the drink; I went into the living room again. I heard Heinz telling a story about who-knows-what. I smiled and sat down on the couch again to watch some TV.

_***Sharp's P.O.V**_

After A-Doofus turned off my movie, I decided to go upstairs to my room. I turned on my music again and started reading my book I was doing a book report on for extra credit. I heard someone come in my room again. I looked and saw Platyborg; I put the book down and asked "What'cha doing in my room?" Platyborg said, "Brooke is watching a stupid show and I wanted to see a decent movie…" I said "Oh… Well I know a good one". I got up and grabbed a movie out of my DVD book, I put it in my DVD player and got back on my bed, and Platyborg climbed onto the bed and watched the movie with me.

As we were watching the movie I got candy and soda outta my fridge in my room. And I think Platyborg might have had a tad too much. About 30 minutes after I got the candy and soda he started getting a bit hyper. He got off my bed and left, I heard a crash and I turned off my TV. As I left my room I heard someone yell "SHARP!". I said "Oh no…". I ran downstairs and saw that the whole first floor was pretty much destroyed. All the glass things were lying on the ground, All the lamps were broke. The chairs were lying back to floor; all the pictures were now on the floor with holes and burn marks in them. I then saw Brooke's mom standing there. I said "H-Hi Brenda…". Brenda said "How did this happen?". I said "I don't know, Maybe Platyborg did it!". Brenda said "Well Brooke told me you were watching him".

"Well I kinda was but he left my ro-". I saw Platyborg run past me; I sighed and looked down at the ground, "I think right now I should be leaving… Or the rest of this house will be destroyed…" I walked away and tried to find Platyborg, I saw he was running around the top living area, I said "Platyborg!" He ignored me; I got an idea and said in a Doofenshmirtz voice just to do it, "General Platyborg! What are you doing?" That caught Platyborg's attention and I grabbed him before he could run away. I said "There's no way in the name of Evan Jacob Von Jacobs I am letting you ruin the rest of this house". I first took him into my room and grabbed something I had in there. I disabled the watch Platyborg had on (He pretty much had all the powers he had before, But they went into the watch, Meaning no more really Cyborg thing in him). I then took him to A-Doof's room. Platyborg was squirming so much I had let him go onto the bed. I shut the door and said "Hey Doofus! I need your help". A-Doof who was on his computer "With what?". I stared at him and said "Platyborg is super hyper right now and I need your help to calm him d- A-Doof… I suggest you move that cup". He asked "Why?". I said "Just move it to the other side of the desk". He did and Platyborg ended up hitting up against his guitar which was sitting on a stand and the guitar hit up against the desk and knocked over the pencil cup that use to be near the cup.

A-Doof said "That's why…". He shut his computer and pushed his chair backwards, He asked me as he grabbed Platyborg "Tried doing this?". He got up and pulled back his comforter and sheets. He put Platyborg down on the bed, put the sheets and comforter over him, and tucked the sheets in so Platyborg could barely be able to get up. A-Doof grabbed his guitar and sat down on his bed. He started playing a song, He started singing a lullaby I swear I have heard before. Platyborg tried to get out but every time he did, he started growing tired. He yawned and started falling asleep. I said "Dang, This is like one of Brooke's stupid cute stories!". A-Doof said "Yeah… Defiantly like". He pulled the sheets out of the mattress and let him sleep.

I got up and said "Well now, we need to fix up all of Brenda's stuff since Platyborg destroyed it". A-Doof looked at me and said "Really?". I nodded and said "Yeah, so let's go!". He got up and came with me,

"What the hole? Platyborg did this?".

"Yeah".

"My god…".

I picked up the pictures and sighed, I then looked at A-Doof "Didn't you guys make some thing that could fix stuff fast. You know because Heinz's place always got messed up everyday". A-Doof said "Before he got kicked up… Yeah".

"Where is that?".

"Hmm… I think it might be in the garage…".

I went out to the garage and searched for it. I found it lying on the deck part of the garage (Yes… There is a deck part…) I grabbed it and went back into the dining room, I pressed the button on it and a tornado like thing came out, it went around the room and everything was fixed. I said "AWESOME!". I made the cleaning tornado thing go back into the machine. I asked "How does that do that?". A-Doof shrugged, "I really don't know… Heinz made it. I just fixed it to make it work". I asked "Was there a self-destruct button on it?". He nodded and I laughed. I said "He's such A Doofus". A-Doof said "Was one, Not much anymore…".

"Well he's what Four now…".

"I meant before that happened. Remember when you and Brooke wanted that machine that hit Heinz?".

"Oh yeah, The smart and stupid-inator? It could make someone stupid or smart".

"Yeah that one, Well the Smart setting was on and well everything Heinz ever learned was refreshed in his mind. So He was "smart'".

"Oh… That makes sense".

We heard someone say "How Did this get fixed up so fast?". I looked and saw Brenda, I said "We used an invention". Brenda said "Ahh, Thanks". I said "You're welcome". She sat down to watch her shows. I asked "Hey where's Heinz, Brooke and Perry?". A-Doof asked "Where's ED, Missy and A-Brooke?".

_**Yes I end this chapter off here. MWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! …**_

_***The rest of My P.O.V would be this, I watched TV till I got bored. So really no story there. So Sharp's is more interesting. I think. **_


End file.
